I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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