So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
