I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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