I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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