i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
