sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
