His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
