I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
