hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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