YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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