dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
