I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
