Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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