So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
