smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want to make out with him forever
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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