Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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