Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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