All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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