ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
