So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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