Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
