I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
