We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
