We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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