The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
