Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
