you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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