24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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