last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize