I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
