11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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