i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
