It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
