awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize