I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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