since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
