if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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