My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
