One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize