my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
