Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
