wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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