Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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