Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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