I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
