OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
