The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
