Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
