Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
