i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
