what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
