when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize