I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
