This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
two words...techno handjob
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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