HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
