My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
