The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The Olympian is in my bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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