I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
