Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
