u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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