5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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