dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
