its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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