Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize