I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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