jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize