Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
