He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
