do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
