My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
