Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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