oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
