Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
