this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
