its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
