About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
