you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
